


Mustache Girl is a Friend

by DeckofDragons



Series: Celebrating the New Year, New Decade, and 100+ Followers Drabble Event [6]
Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Dadcher, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Mama Cooking Cat, Mustache Girl has a proper hideout AU, Poor Mu, The Illness has spread, bad movie night, rift tokens, sleepover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:14:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 18,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22239211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeckofDragons/pseuds/DeckofDragons
Summary: Drabbles written for my drabble event that feature Mustache Girl in a prominent role.
Relationships: Bow Kid & Hat Kid & Mustache Girl (A Hat in Time), Hat Kid & Mustache Girl (A Hat in Time), Hat Kid & Snatcher (A Hat in Time), Mustache Girl & Cooking Cat
Series: Celebrating the New Year, New Decade, and 100+ Followers Drabble Event [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1599667
Comments: 12
Kudos: 140





	1. Pollen

**Author's Note:**

> This is a request for my drabble event from an anon on tumblr.
> 
> "Hhhhh! Prompt request thing: The illness has spread beyond Alpine Skyline, engulfing the whole planet, what now?"

It took Hat Kid longer than she’d hoped it would but she was _finally_ coming back for a visit. She was excited to see all her friends again and find out what they’d been up to since she’d left.

But when her ship exited hyperspace, settling into the planet’s orbit, it didn’t look at all like the planet had before. It was shrouded in dark purple and black clouds. Was this the right place? … Checking the coordinates on the console said it was. Theoretically they could be wrong, a bug in the system could’ve caused her ship to jump to the wrong planet and just say it was the right one. That was unlikely though. Besides, those clouds weren’t unfamiliar.

She pulled out her phone and told her ship to beam her down to Mafia town. That was the first place she’d been when initially coming to this planet so why not also have it be the first place she investigated.

She landed in the town square by the fountain. The fountain that was now broken and cracked, no longer spewing water. There wasn’t a single soul in sight, every window she saw was boarded up tight, some of the doors too. The broken bits of what had once clearly been stalls selling wares and the dark splotches of _something_ made it clear that violence had occurred here. And even though the sun should be out, it was dark. Those clouds filled the sky, letting in only what little light could sneak through them. And the oh so familiar purple pollen filled the air, floating on the wind.

In hindsight, she should’ve eradicated the plants that had released it. She’d even considered it but had dismissed the thought, thinking that it would probably be fine, they were only little plants after all. And that now fully aware of the dangers, if something did happen, the mountain people would be able to handle it before it could become a real issue. Apparently, such thinking had been naïve. For someone who was supposed to be smart, she could be really dumb sometimes, huh?

Lightning flashed in the sky, followed a half second later by the crash of thunder, loud enough to startle her. She shook it off as she switched to the sprint hat. She’d neglected to prevent this when she’d had the chance so she was kind of obligated to deal with it. All she had to do was find the…

“Hey!”

Hat Kid jumped and turned her head to see a figure striding out of an alleyway towards her.

“What kind of idiot walks around without a gasmask on?” Was that Mustache Girl? She was wearing a gasmask that covered her whole face but her hood and medallion were still there and even slightly muffled by the gasmask the voice sounded an awful lot like her. “You’re clearly not infected yet so what do you think you’re…” She froze a couple feet away. “ _Hat Kid_?” Yep, it was Mu all right. “What are you doing here?”

“I came back to…”

“And why aren’t you wearing a gasmask?” Mu interrupted. “Don’t do see all the pollen? Ugh… here.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out another gasmask. “And don’t say because you’re an alien, it’s not going to affect you, I’m _not_ risking that.”

Hat Kid _had_ been going to say that but… she didn’t know for sure that’s how it worked – she didn’t know much about the pollen at all really, just that it was bad. So, with a frown, she accepted the gasmask and put it on.

“What’s going on here?” she asked after she’d secured it on her face – it was _already_ uncomfortable and it smelled weird.

“Basically, the zombie apocalypse,” Mu replied. “Now you need to…”

“What? It turns people into zombies?” But hadn’t the goats been fine after the pollen had been cleared from the air and they’d had some time to get it out of their system?

“Not literally no. The pollen infects people when they breath it in and makes them violent and it’s spread throughout most of if not the whole world by now as far as I know. So, it’s _basically_ the same thing as a zombie apocalypse, only a little different.” She had a point. “But I found out where it’s coming from… I think. I was just heading there to take care of it. I suggest you go shelter somewhere or…”

“I can help,” Hat Kid interrupted. “I was going to fix it myself anyway. I dealt with this before on a smaller scale but it should be the same. There are these weird purple plants that release the pollen. Destroying them fixes it.”

“Uh… yeah, that’s pretty much what the book said. I don’t really _need_ help but since you’re offering and have dealt with this before, fine I guess you can be my sidekick in this. Let’s go.” She hooked her arm through Hat Kid’s and started walking. “The book _also_ said that the plants come from the mountains. So, first we need to steal a boat so we can we go there and destroy the source plants first and then go around and kill all their offspring.”

“Or,” Hat Kid said, pulling out her phone. “We could just do this.” She beamed them back up to her ship.

Mu froze before glancing around and turning to look at Hat Kid again. “Uh… yeah, you can drop anywhere on the planet from up here, right?”

“For the most part, yeah.”

“Awesome! We can save a lot of travel time this way and take out all the plants in like a day or two. Good job sidekick.” Mu gave her a thumbs up.

Hat Kid wasn’t sure she liked the idea of being the sidekick and working with Mu had potential to be very difficult but whatever. As long as they saved the planet, it was fine. And _maybe_ her and Mu could be friends again after all this.


	2. Rich

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A prompt from anon: "prompt: Rift Tokens sort of create themselves occaisionally from magic. Earthling society considers rift tokens semivaluble, like about as much as a badge. Interstellar society considers them highly valuable."

Mustache Girl’s hideout – and presumably home since it seemed unlikely that she had any parents or anywhere else to live given what little Hat Kid knew about her – was an abandoned building. Old and falling apart, it was down a dirty alley in Mafia-Town, its broken windows and door boarded up. If Mu hadn’t brought Hat Kid here, she would’ve dismissed the place as empty and useless, heck she would’ve dismissed the whole alleyway.

After a look around, probably making sure they were alone, Mu led the way over to the side of the building. What _looked_ like secure paneling actually turned out to be a door leading to a crawlspace. Mu didn’t hesitate before entering so neither did Hat Kid.

On the other side of the crawlspace was a _much_ cozier looking place than Hat Kid had expected. It was a living room type area with a proper carpet, only a tad dirty, and bean bags with pillows for chairs. There was even a bright lamp – probably battery powered if Hat Kid had to guess – illuminating it all that Mu had turned on upon entering the room. There was a fireplace as well with wood stacked beside it. The wallpaper left something to be desired though; old and peeling, Mu’s obvious attempts to save it by painting over it with a bright purple were only marginally successful in large part due to the fact that she hadn’t been able to reach all of it, getting about only halfway up the walls, less in other places.

“Welcome to me hideout,” Mu said with a flourish. “Here we’re going to figure out how to beat up the Mafia.” She skipped over to the side of the room opposite the fire place where a large whiteboard on wheels resided next to an old wooden desk.

Hat Kid followed, initially distracted by the scribbling on the whiteboard that she couldn’t make much sense of. But upon reaching the desk, her eyes caught something shiny amongst the clutter covering it. Three Rift Tokens, just lying out in the open like they were no big deal.

“Why are you living in a place like this when you have three whole Rift Tokens?” she asked, turning to Mu.

“Huh?” Mu looked up from erasing the whiteboard. “What do you mean?”

“These.” Hat Kid pointed to the Tokens. Did Mu not know how much they were worth? _Clearly_ not if she was just leaving them out like this. “They’re worth a lot of money.”

“Uh… they’re worth like a hundred Pons each. That’s good and all, it means I won’t have to starve if I can’t steal anything, but… not exactly a lot of money even when added together.”

Hat Kid picked one up to look at it better. … She was _not_ mistaken about what it was. It was a Rift Token, made from magic and therefore _expensive_ and valuable. But apparently worth only a hundred Pons here. She hadn’t been here long enough to know for sure what the exact conversion rate was but she did know that a hundred Pons wasn’t a whole lot and Mu didn’t seem to think it was much either.

“Where did you get them?” she asked, looking back up at Mu.

Mu sighed; slight annoyance clear on her face. She _really_ didn’t care. “They show up in various places, normally hidden and stuff. I don’t know where they come from, one day they’re not there and the next they are. They’re really nothing special, why do you care so much about them?”

“Where _I_ come from, they’re worth _a lot_ of money. With just these three right here, you could buy yourself a nice living area on one of the space station cities. Probably not a large one but a nice one for sure _or_ a large standard one. You’re basically rich.”

Mu frowned. “Really?”

“Yep.”

“Well… that’s not how much they’re worth here. If they _were_ , the Mafia would take all of them… not that they don’t already but they’d be _even_ stricter about it. But… ugh, you mean I’m sitting on a fortune I can’t _do_ anything with? _Really_?”

“Yep.”

“That _sucks_.” Mu scowled, crossing her arms. After a second or two of silence, a thought seemed to occur to her as she looked back up at Hat Kid. “You know what,” she said, a look of determination coming over her face, “after we beat up the Mafia and you get all your hour glass things back, you should take me up to one of these space ship city things and we’ll cash them in. I don’t know what we’ll do with the money but I’m sure we can find _something_ to do with it, right?”

“Uh… yeah, that sounds like a great idea.” Especially since it seemed Hat Kid would get some of that money too. Not that she needed it but it’d be nice to go on a shopping spree, having a friend along would make it even better. She was _excited_ for it.


	3. Climbing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon request: 
> 
> "prompt: Hat Kid, Bow Kid, and Mu, postgame, get along surprisingly well. Unfortuantely NONE of them have a fully working sense of danger and self-preservation. Sometimes them hanging out is just normal hangouts. Someones they get into Shenanigans. Usually someone appoints themself Voice of Reason and keeps the chaos relatively safe but sometimes that system fails. Which is why random adults, up to and including the Snatcher, have found themselves abruptly in charge of three reckless kids."

When Hat Kid had suggested they climb the big tree in Subcon Forest, Mu hadn’t quite known how big said tree _was_. She hadn’t known trees could even _get_ that big. Even when she craned her neck up to look at it, she couldn’t see the top due to how close they stood.

“Now that I look at it again… are we sure this is a good idea?” Bow said, voicing Mu’s own doubts but…

“It’ll be fine,” she said. While this wasn’t Mu’s first time in Subcon Forest, she didn’t get to come here often. She wanted to see more of it, the top of the tree was the best place to do that – and as long as Cooking Cat never found out about this specific adventure, she wouldn’t even need to sit through a safety lecture later like she had with a few other adventures of theirs. “We climb trees and stuff _all_ the time and barely ever fall.”

“Yeah,” Hat Kid agreed. “Now let’s go. Race you guys to the top.” She took off, leaving Bow and Mu little choice but to follow.

Hat Kid started climbing first followed shortly by Bow, landing Mu in last place. For now, anyway. She was _taller_ than them now, her arms and legs longer, she should be able to overtake them easily.

Climbing it was actually quite easy. Its bark was thick and lumpy, providing plenty of hand and footholds. Reaching the beginning of the tree’s many branches made their progress quicker. It was almost like it was made for climbing.

Mu remained behind though, not much but enough to be mildly frustrating. She decided to change that about halfway up. She started moving faster, going for riskier branches to pull herself up with. It paid off as she passed Bow. She was closing in Hat Kid now, just little more and…

The branch she’d grabbed to pull herself up snapped with a loud crack. Suddenly she was falling. Air whistled past her ears as, branches painfully whipping her as she fell through them. She closed her eyes with a whimper. She couldn’t die like this, she…

She jerked to a stop just as suddenly. Something had caught her cape. A branch probably. She needed to grab onto something before it broke under her weight!

She opened her eyes and froze, putting her hands over her mouth to stifle a yelp of surprise. It wasn’t a tree branch that had caught her but the infamous Snatcher and he did _not_ look pleased.

“What made you idiots think this was a good idea?” he asked, turning his frown away from Mu, keeping hold of her by her cape.

“It’s fun,” Hat Kid replied. “But uh… Mu, are you okay?”

Mu managed to twist herself to look up at Hat Kid and Bow still halfway up the tree. She gave a thumbs up because she was okay, just shaken a bit.

Snatcher sighed. “Of course you think it’s fun, you’re insane. I _suggest_ coming back down now though because I’m _not_ going to catch the next one of you that falls.”

“Catch me too,” Bow called before jumping.

Despite what he’d _just_ said, Snatcher jerked into motion to catch her with his other hand. “You _idiot_ children!” Oh, he was _mad_ now.

Bow giggled, almost just as insane as Hat Kid. “Thank you.”

Snatcher growled, sounding a lot like a rabid animal and sending a chill down Mu’s spine. But despite that he was _almost_ kind of gentle as he lowered Mu the rest of the way to the forest floor. He put Bow done too before looking back up at Hat Kid. Free from his grasp Mu was half tempted to run but… she needed to know how this played out. According to Hat Kid, Snatcher wasn’t as evil as his reputation made him out to be. The fact that he’d saved Mu’s life and then caught Bow hinted that that might actually be the case. So it was probably safe to stay and watch whatever happened next.

“Kid,” he said. “I’m serious, I will _drag_ your dumbass back down here if you don’t start climbing down this instant.”

Hat Kid’s face wasn’t visible from down here but it was easily to imagine. It was probably the same look of annoyance she had any time an adult came along and ruined one of their adventures, regardless of whether or not they were justified in interfering. “ _Ugh_ , fine _Dad_.”

“I’m _not_ your dad so don’t call me…”

Hat Kid jumped. She was insane, both her and Bow Kid. Snatcher caught her of course mere seconds after her leap of faith towards him.

“Wee,” she said with a giggle, looking up at his shocked expression that quickly morphed into a scowl.

“ _Why_ would you do that?” he said.

“It’s the fastest way down,” Hat Kid replied with a giggle.

“I should’ve let you fall and break your useless neck.”

“You’d never do that. You care way too much about me to let me get hurt. That’s why you were watching us, right? To make sure we wouldn’t get hurt.”

“I was _not_ watching you. I just happened to be passing by when your friend fell and decided to catch her because the _last_ thing I need right now is to deal with you pests dying and becoming damn ghosts in my forest. Because then you would never leave.”

“You keep telling yourself that.” Hat Kid’s bravery was forever to be admired.

Bow had moved over to stand by Mu. “This is what we meant when we told you he’s a big ‘soon-deh-ray’,” she whispered. “He cares, he just doesn’t want to admit it for some reason.”

That certainly seemed to be the case as he lowered Hat Kid to ground to stand next to them. “You three,” he gestured to them, frowning, “no more climbing trees. If you _must_ play in the forest, it’s going to be a safer activity than that. In fact, I know just the thing.”

The world around the four of them shifted to purple. When it faded, they were in a what looked like a village. Subcon Village if Mu had to guess, she’d never been to it before but Hat Kid and Bow had mentioned it a few times.

“You guys are going to play ball with the Subconites,” Snatcher said. “One of them has a soccer ball _somewhere_. Find it and entertain yourselves for while instead of being a nuisance.” With that he vanished.

“I don’t think he’s actually gone,” Hat Kid said as she turned back to face Mu and Bow. “He’s still watching us to make sure we don’t run off and get in ‘trouble’ again.”

Mu glanced all around but saw no trace of him. Which made sense, this was his domain, he should be able to hide in it near flawlessly. “Why is he like that though? If he cares why wouldn’t he say so? What if somebody he cares about gets the wrong idea and gets upset when he pretends he hates them or whatever?”

“Well uh… I think that’s what he wants.” Hat Kid shrugged. “He wants to push people away because of bad stuff that happened to him when he was alive.”

Mu had trouble picturing Snatcher as a living being, though he had to have been at some point, right? “What kind of stuff?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why not? I want to know.” How could Hat Kid just dangle that bit of juicy gossip in front of Mu and not deliver on it?

“It’s not her place to tell,” Bow said. “She didn’t even tell _me_. Just like I can’t tell you guys stuff I know about Moonjumper. And if you knew any of Cooking Cat’s dirty secrets, you wouldn’t feel right telling us, right?”

“Uh… yeah, I guess so.”

“Good!” Hat Kid said. “Now let’s go find that soccer ball and play whatever soccer is. I’m sure the Subconites will teach us, they’re pretty good about that kind of thing.”

Well, it wouldn’t be as fun as climbing a big tree but honestly, Mu maybe wasn’t in the mood to do that anymore anyway. It wasn’t everyday one got a chance to play around in Snatcher’s forest and have it be okay. And it was still something new.


	4. Sushi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon Request: 
> 
> "headcanon: hat kid's species kept their fangs because they get some vitamin or something from raw meat, so even after figuring out fire and stuff they kept the fangs. on Earth Hat Kid just comes across as a sushi fiend."

“If you’re going to be help take down the Mafia then you have to meet Cooking Cat,” Mu said even though Hat Kid hadn’t _really_ agreed to do that. She just wanted the Time Pieces back but… whatever, taking down the Mafia might help with that. “Let’s go.” She took hold of Hat Kid’s wrist and starting walking.

“Uh… okay,” Hat Kid said because she wasn’t being given many other choices. And making more friends was always fun.

Mu lead the way through Mafia Town’s streets, sticking to alleyways and out of the way roads. Eventually she brought Hat Kid to the rear of an official looking building. She entered through the backdoor using a key. Down a hall and to the right was a door with an LED sign next to it reading ‘FILMING IN PROGRESS. DO NOT ENTER.’ She ignored it though and went right in, bringing Hat Kid with her.

The room was half kitchen, half space for cameras and other equipment manned by various people. Behind the counter on the kitchen side was an orange cat wearing a chef uniform. They were entering via the kitchen side, Mu walking right up behind the counter, totally unbothered by the cameras to the right.

“I made a new friend,” she said. “She going to help take down the Mafia while she looks for some hourglass thingies of hers that fell.”

The cat, presumably Cooking Cat because she was a cat who was cooking and had a cooking show, sighed. It was the kind of long-suffering sigh that made it clear that this was far from the first time Mu had barged in on her while she was filming. “Hello Mu,” was what she said though before turning her attention to Hat Kid. “You can call me ‘Cooking Cat’, what’s your name?”

“Uh…” Hat Kid glanced at the cameras. She hadn’t been expected to be filmed but… whatever. She looked back at Cooking Cat. “Hat Kid.” No one else seemed to be going by a real name here so why should she? She looked at the counter next where _something_ was being prepared. She couldn’t tell what though so… “What you making?”

“It’s clearly sushi, you dingus,” Mu answered for Cooking Cat. “What else would it be?”

“Be nice Mu,” Cooking Cat scolded. “But yes, it’s sushi.”

That really didn’t answer Hat Kid’s question. “What’s sushi?” She was an alien to this planet, how as she supposed to know these things?

“How do you not know what sushi is?” Mu said. “It’s _sushi_.”

“Mu,” Cooking Cat said. “Not all of us have had the pleasure of growing up around sushi or being adopted by a professional chef who has. So don’t judge people.”

Mu finally had the decency to look a tad ashamed. “Yeah, okay, fine, I guess you’re right.”

Ignoring her, Cooking Cat turned her attention back to Hat Kid. “Sushi is a lot of things but basically what it boils down to is raw fish.”

“Ah! Okay! I don’t think I’ve ever run into another species that eats raw meat before.” Not that she’d had a chance to go to many planets yet but she’d been to a few. But every form of intelligent life she did run into either didn’t eat meat at all or did so only after thoroughly cooking it. It was actually rather lame and unexciting.

Cooking Cat raised an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”

“Oh uh… I guess you don’t know. I’m a spacefaring alien. I’ve been to other planets. My species is the only other one I know that eats raw meat. Eating cooked meat is always really unsatisfying because you don’t get any of the blood which is the best part.”

Cooking Cat, Mu, and the camera crew off to the side were now looking at her like she’d said something crazy. For some reason she got that response every time she mentioned eating raw meat and blood around other intelligent lifeforms. They were hypocrites though, weren’t they? … Or maybe the only did it with fish which didn’t look super bloody. Whatever though, she refused to be ashamed of the habits of her species.

“Um… good for you sweetie,” Cooking Cat finally said. “Now do you two want to join me and I’ll teach you how to prepare sushi or can I get back to filming my show now?”

Before Mu could answer, Hat Kid did. “Yes! I want to learn, teach me.” She liked the idea of being on TV and a chance learn something new about this planet and its people was welcome. Also she wanted to try the sushi because she was hungry and liked trying new things.


	5. Mama Cooking Cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon request:
> 
> "that’s it : prompt request, someone adopts mu, maybe cooking cat, good food for mu, mu’s hunting skills being used to help cc get ingredients and share with towns people, that’s my request because let mu have some happiness please"

Ever since Mu’s Time Piece power trip had been put to a very abrupt halt, food had become _even harder_ to get than before. Almost everyone, Mafia or not, recognized her and chased her away the moment they saw her. Rare was the day she could even get close to the food stalls anymore. Stealing something from them was nigh on impossible because with a personal grudge now, the owners of the stalls no longer gave up as easily.

Compounding on that the crows didn’t even try to fight her anymore, they just ran, making killing them for food nigh on impossible. Thankfully the rats were easy prey though but growing ever scarcer due to the Mafia’s eradication efforts as well as Mu’s hunting of them. Fishing was nearly impossible without a boat or at least the right equipment but even with a poll and bait it would’ve left her too out in the open, easily caught and killed. Which left garbage to be her main source of food now.

It sucked and was _no fair_! And people _still_ chased her away if they caught her going through their garbage or someone else’s or even a public waste bin. Why couldn’t people just _give her a pecking break already_? She couldn’t even find time to sabotage the Mafia as much anymore because she was constantly on the run or looking through garbage praying to find something at least semi-edible. … She was getting desperate.

Which is what drove her to Cooking Cat’s Studio. Normally she wouldn’t dare break into such a place solely for food; it was _way_ too easy to get cornered indoors and before the whole thing with the Time Pieces, the risk hadn’t been worth it because stealing and hunting had been much easier. Now though, just eating garbage and the occasional gaunt rat, she could feel herself growing weaker, putting her in more danger of getting caught and murdered. She _refused_ to die to the Mafia, her hatred for them was the only thing that kept her going.

She was minimizing the risk though; according to word on the street Cooking Cat was supposedly out of town right now. It could be wrong but hopefully not.

The door to the studio was locked of course. But thankfully, it wasn’t the kind of lock that required a large key, meaning Mu could pick it.

Inside, it was even darker than it was outside. There were windows but they were dirty and not very big, not letting in much moonlight at all. There was nothing she could do about it though as she stepped in and pulled the door closed behind her.

She found the left wall and keeping her hand on it, walked along it until she found a door. She opened it and poked her head inside. It was pitch black. Which meant there weren’t any windows, or if there were, they were thoroughly covered and thus turning on a light wouldn’t be seen from outside.

Keeping one had on the door, she stepped in to grope at the wall for the light switch. Hopefully it was on this side, if not… Ah! There it was! She flipped it, flooding the room with light and blinding herself.

Unable to see, she stood frozen, listening for any indication for anyone else reacting to the light. All was silent though. And when at long last she could open her eyes she had to hold back the need to vocalize her excitement and triumph. She’d found the kitchen set! Now _hopefully_ they kept all the food for the show stored here. They had to, right? There was no way they stocked and unstocked the cupboards and fridge every time they filmed, right?

Mu sprinted over to the nearest cupboard. Inside was bowls various shapes and sizes, some clearly meant for mixing, others for serving. With a growl, she slammed it shut. The next housed cups. She kicked it closed this time and skipped straight to the fridge, food that needed to be refrigerated was better anyway. And… it was stocked! Yes! Jackpot!

She grabbed the first thing that caught her eye; a bag of shredded cheese. How long had it been since she’d had cheese that wasn’t expired? … Didn’t matter. She tore it open and started stuffing her face with it.

***

Having just come back from visiting the Metro for a special string of episodes for the show, Cooking Cat’s internal clock was still set to Metro time. Meaning she was wide awake at 3am. There was nothing she could do about it though and staying in bed was about as appealing trying to make a meal out of roadkill so… she might as well head to the Kitchen Studio. She would probably regret it later and she wasn’t even set to film today but she was bored and needed to check and make sure the kitchen set was fully stocked _before_ it was time to start filming anyway so why not do it now?

When she arrived, she went around to the back door; it was closer to the kitchen set. … It was unlocked. Which should _not_ have been the case, it was literally part of someone’s job to make sure all the doors were locked when everyone left. Someone had picked it.

With a growl, she pulled out her rolling pin. If anyone thought they could get away with sneaking into her studio to steal something, they had something else coming.

Fur bristling, she pushed the door open, letting it bang against the wall and announce her presence. She stepped inside, rolling pin raised should anyone jump out and attack her. No one did though. Turning on the light revealed that no one was there either. _But_ … the door leading to the kitchen set was ajar and the light was on in there too. She marched over and kicked that door open too.

No one was there but they _had_ been. The fridge hung open and was noticeably less full now. Food packaging littered the floor around it. It was _possible_ the culprit was gone by now, unlikely though. Most robbers would’ve covered up the evidence of their crime, leaving discovery of it until the last possible moment. Whoever it was had most likely heard the backdoor slam open and hid somewhere in the room because there were no other exits.

“I know you’re still here,” Cooking Cat said as she closed the fridge. “Come out and _maybe_ I won’t whack you with my rolling pin.”

No response.

Well, that left her no choice, didn’t it? She’d find the intruder’s hiding spot and whoop them for breaking in and stealing from her. She’d start with the cupboards, an unlikely hiding spot due to how small they were but it was always a good idea to cover all of one’s bases.

The bowl cupboard was undisturbed so was the cup cupboard. The cupboard by the fridge, that usually held the mixing stand that now temporarily resided in her own kitchen was not empty as it should’ve been. It now housed a mustached girl. The same mustached girl who’d used the stolen Time Pieces to temporarily take over the world before Hat Kid had defeated her.

Cooking Cat opened her mouth to say something mean but… Mustache Girl – as Hat Kid had called her when Cooking Cat had later asked – was a child. A small child, cowering in a cupboard, fear etched on her face.

“Please don’t hurt me,” she begged, pressed as far back into the cupboard and _away_ from Cooking Cat as was physically. “I’m sorry, I-I’ll just go and never come back, I promise. Just don’t hurt me please or… or turn me into the Mafia or… anything like that. _Please_.”

Cooking Cat let out a sigh, slipping her rolling pin back into chef’s cook. She almost asked what Mu was doing here but… it was obvious from the mess she’d made on the floor and of her front. She was here for the food and had clearly gone at it rather ravenously. She was skinny, her clothes ragged and baggier than they should be on her. She’d probably been starving.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Cooking Cat said in what she hoped was a soothing voice. She didn’t want to move back away from the cupboard though lest Mu run away.

“Y-you’re not?” Mu didn’t sound like she believed that.

“No, I’m not. I’d never hurt a child. Now uh… you can come out now.” She reached a paw in, offering to help Mu out. “Please don’t run though, I want to talk.”

Mu flinched at he offered contact so Cooking Cat withdrew her paw. She stepped back though, allowing Mu to exit. Thankfully she didn’t run even if she did cast a furtive glance towards the exit.

“What do you want?” she asked, glaring in an obvious attempt to appear unafraid.

“I… want to help. Where are you parents?”

Mu let out a single sarcastic laugh. “Where do you _think_?”

“Uh… I don’t know.”

“They’re dead, you idiot. The Mafia killed them.”

Cooking Cat tried not to grimace at her own stupidity. Of _course_ Mu’s parents were dead, she wouldn’t be here if they weren’t. And of course, they’d been killed by the Mafia, more than half the island’s population had been. Which left Mu an orphan, probably living on the streets and starving so when an opportunity to raid a cooking show’s set had arisen, she’d taken it. So…

“Well… in that case, can you can stay with me for a while,” Cooking Cat said.

“What?”

“I mean, you clearly don’t have anywhere else to go. My apartment’s not the best but it does have a guest room. I’ll have to clean it up some but it should do.”

Mu gave her a look that was half disbelief and half desperate hope. “Are you… offering me a place to stay? _Really_?! Or… or is this a trick? You’re going to lure me to your house and then call the Mafia over and get your reward for turning me in, aren’t you?” Now she looked mad.

“Hon, do I _look_ like the kind of person who’s friends with the Mafia? I’ve been trying to get them shut down too.”

“Really? How?”

“Exposing their _wretched_ cooking habits to the world with my show. I’ve already caused two of their kitchens to go out of business. It’s not much but… it’s only thing I can do. So no, I’m _not_ going to turn you into them. I’m offering to help you.”

“ _Why_?” … The fact that she felt the need to ask, especially with so much disbelief in her tone, was _heartbreaking_. How long had it been since anyone had offered her kindness? How long had she been living on the street, hunted by the Mafia for causing trouble? No _wonder_ she’d gone mad with power when she’d obtained it, she was mad at her circumstances and rightfully so. How had Cooking Cat and everyone else missed that?

“Because you’re a child and you’re hurting and probably slowly starving to death on the streets, am I right? I have food, a warm bed, and a safe place to stay if you want it. So… what do you say?” Cooking Cat wasn’t going to force her to do anything. All she could do was hope her offer of help would be accepted.

“You’re… being serious, really?” Mu asked, her tone suggesting she was possibly holding back tears now.

Cooking Cat nodded.

“I uh… okay, I’ll go. … But if it’s a trick I’m going to escape and… and… start sabotaging you too.”

“Of course sweetie. Let’s uh… go now. It’s late and I’m sure you need some sleep.” Cooking Cat was feeling like she might need a nap now too actually.

Mu grunted as she started following Cooking Cat out. She still didn’t look like she trusted her but that was okay and understandable. After a while she’d see that Cooking Cat meant her no harm and only wanted to help. She probably wasn’t fit to be in charge of a child, especially one so clearly traumatized but she didn’t have much choice. She’d just have to find a way to make it work.


	6. Filming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon request: 
> 
> "Prompt: Recurring cooking cats show character mu"

The kitchen set was vastly different when a whole crew of cats were running around messing with cameras and other filming equipment as well as whatever they were doing in the kitchen are itself. It made Mu a bit nervous about getting in the way but… whatever. If she got in the way that was their problem, not hers.

She sat a chair off to the side, watching them and Cooking Cat getting ready to film the show. It was awfully boring and she was getting hungry. The doughnuts on the table looked _really_ good. Was she allowed to have one though? They were presumably for the crew which she most certainly was not part of. She was only here because she’d finally complained about being left home alone whenever Cooking Cat had to come here to film her show. So she probably wasn’t allowed to have one. …

Peck it! No one was paying attention to her, she could easily sneak over and steal one or two. She’d need a place to hide while she ate though lest someone spot her and get mad. … The empty cupboard she’d hid in when Cooking Cat had first found her should do fine; it was empty so no one was likely to open it.

Pretending like she was walking around out of boredom and wanting to stretch her legs, she made a pass by the table. With the deftness of a practiced thief and pickpocket, she snatched a doughnut, sequestering it away into her pocket. As she moved on no one called her out, they hadn’t noticed.

She made a few more passes around the room, careful not to get in anyone’s way or draw attention to herself. Every time she passed by the table, she stole another doughnut until eventually she couldn’t steal another without making an obvious doughnut shaped bulge in her pocket. And she was already pushing her luck anyway; Cooking Cat had noticed her walking around and had talked to her some. Thankfully she was busy helping with one of the cameras that was having problems so Mu got off easy.

With everyone used to her presence on set now, they paid her even _less_ mind. Making ducking behind the kitchen counter and into the empty cupboard without being seen easy. Except it wasn’t empty. There was a cooking thing in here now too. But whatever, there was still enough room for Mu to enjoy her stolen feast of doughnuts.

It took all of her self-control not scarf them down like a starving animal. Eating too much too fast still made her feel sick even if she was getting used to it. She did still eat them faster than most people probably would because they were stolen.

She was halfway through the final one when the cupboard door opened. Mu froze solid as Cooking Cat peeked in.

“Uh… hi Mu,” she said. Thankfully she didn’t seem mad, didn’t mean she wasn’t of course.

Mu shoved the rest of doughnut into her mouth in a vain attempt to hide her crime. What if Cooking Cat got mad enough to kick her out? … She wouldn’t… _right_? But what _if_?

Cooking Cat raised an eyebrow. “Do you maybe want to tell me why you’re hiding in a cupboard eating doughnuts?”

Mu used the doughnut still in her mouth to delay answering for several seconds as she chewed and swallowed. “Uh… I was hungry. I’m sorry I stole them I won’t…”

“No, hon, it’s fine. The doughnuts on the table are for everyone. In hindsight I probably should’ve made that clear when we got here, sorry about that. But come on out of cupboard now, that’s no place to be. And if you could bring out my mixing stand with you when you do, that’d be great.”

Mildly embarrassed, Mu wriggled back out of the cupboard. She pulled the cooking thing – apparently a mixing stand – out before straightening to stand beside Cooking Cat.

“Hello folks at home,” Cooking Cat said, facing the cameras, clearly not addressing the crew behind them. Oh no! This one was a live show too so doubly oh no! “I bet y’all been wondering why my language’s been so clean this session, this is why.” She put her paws on Mu’s shoulders to turn her the rest of the way around to face the cameras too. “This is Mu. I took her in off the streets a few weeks ago. I brought her to set with me today and she has found herself _all_ the way on set. Say ‘hi’ to the people Mu.”

Mu’s face felt like it might be on fire as she stared at the cameras and red lights on them. How many people were watching? The show was popular so… _a lot_ probably. “Uh… um… hi.” She put the mixing stand down on the kitchen counter before turning and fleeing off to the side. She was never doing _that_ again.

Except it was only a couple weeks before she was thinking about doing it again. As long as she knew she was being filmed when going into a situation it was fine. And Cooking Cat had made a _delicious_ looking soup for part of a dish she was making that Mu wanted to try _now_. And this show wasn’t live so if Mu did something stupid again it could be edited out.

So, as Cooking Cat gathered what she’d need to make the next part of the dish, Mu snuck over and confidently strode behind the counter. Several of the crew murmured discontentedly off to the side. She ignored them as she reached for the soup ladle, nervous but not letting it show as she pulled it out and lifted it to her mouth. The soup tasted _better_ than it looked and smelled. So after emptying the ladle, she went in for another scoop.

“Mu,” Cooking Cat said, arms crossed and facing her now. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like? I’m eating. This tastes _great_ by the way.”

Cooking Cat gave her an exasperated look as she lifted the ladle to her mouth again. “After you put your mouth on something, you’re supposed to _not_ put it back into the food unless you’re the only one eating it. Which is not supposed to be the case here.”

“Hmm… if you say so.” Mu gave her a sly look as she disobeyed that rule once again. She’d lived with Cooking Cat long enough now to know she was safe in doing this.

Cooking Cat sighed, lifting a paw to her forehead in frustration. But then suddenly perked back up. “You know what dear, if you’re going to be on the show anyway, how would you like to be my assistant?”

Mu paused, the soup ladle raised halfway to her mouth again. “Uh… would I get to eat more soup?” While the main reason she’d come up here was to see what would happen and to mess with Cooking Cat a little, the soup really was fantastic.

“Yes, of course you can.”

“Okay then, I guess.”

**And thus begins Mu being a regular guest on Cooking Cat’s show.**


	7. Bad Movies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon request:
> 
> "prompt: AHiT cast, Bad Movie/Game night. Hat Kid and Bow Kid have very little cultural context for anything there, being aliens, so the bad media is even MORE bafflingly hilariously bad for them"

The last time Mu had had a sleepover had been before the Mafia came to the island. She didn’t like to remember those times, doing so only made her sad. As a result, she barely remembered what it was like to have a sleepover or what she’d done during them.

But she was having one now. It had been Cooking Cat’s idea. Why she’d thought of it or suggested it was a mystery. But Mu had been so excited by the idea and reminder that she _could_ have a sleepover now that she’d gone ahead and invited Hat Kid and Bow over before even figuring out what they would do for it. And _now_ the two of them were due in two hours – they’d probably arrive before then though because they always showed up early whenever they agreed to be somewhere at a certain time – and Mu still wasn’t sure how they should spend the time. So…

“Uh… what do people normally do during sleepovers?” she asked Cooking Cat in the kitchen. “I forgot.”

Cooking Cat gave her a sad look but _thankfully_ didn’t say anything about it. “Well, when _I_ was young and went to friends’ houses to spend the night or just hang out for as long as we were allowed, we liked to watch bad movies. The kind of bad movies that are so bad they’re funny.”

“Oh, that sounds perfect. Do we have any?”

“Hmm… I think we might. If not, I can hop down to the store real quick and get some.”

“You’re the _best_.”

Hat Kid and Bow did indeed arrive early but not until after Cooking Cat returned from the store with a large handful of movies. Most of them had the bargain bin sticker on them. Some were legit good movies though, in Mu’s opinion anyway. But what did she know? Up until Cooking Cat took her in, her only way of watching movies was sneaking into the theater which she didn’t dare risk often.

“Oh, that’s a lot of movies,” Hat Kid said when Mu showed them to her and Bow. “I’ve been meaning to watch more movies from this planet ever since Snatcher made me watch Mulan and Lilo and Stitch with him.”

“He did _what_?” Mu couldn’t picture a being a like Snatcher watching movies at all, let alone _those_ particular ones.

“It’s a long story.” Hat Kid waved it off.

“He was drunk, like _very_ drunk,” Bow added. “I wasn’t there but Moonjumper told me all about it later. But anyway, let’s watch some movies! I haven’t actually seen any yet so I’m excited.”

With a giant bowl of popcorn, the three of them settled down on the sofa in the living room to watch movies. True to Cooking Cat’s words, the first movie quickly turned out to be a ‘so bad it’s good’ type of movie. It had been a _very_ long time since Mu had had a chance to laugh at a movie like that. It was amazing.

“I have no idea what’s going on,” Hat Kid said about halfway through it.

“Yeah, uh… I’m a bit lost too,” Bow agreed. “Is this uh… really supposed to be a good movie?”

“No, of _course_ not,” Mu said. “Why would you think that?”

“Well you seem to be enjoying it. Not that I’m not but… it’s really weird and I really don’t get it.”

“That’s the _point_. It’s horrible and makes no real sense but like in a way that’s so bad it’s funny.”

“’So bad it’s funny’?” Hat Kid repeated with a skeptical look. “I’ve… never heard a movie or anything described that way before.”

“Me neither,” Bow agreed. “But um… it does fit that description, huh?”

Wow these two really must’ve never been allowed to have fun on their home planet. Well they were here now so Mu was going to teach them all the ways one was supposed to have fun… and remind herself of those things in the process.


	8. Venom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon request: 
> 
> "Mu sees venomous!Hat Kid chomp and sort of twitch her face and then let go and is confsued and then the mafia guy starts like. screaming or otherwise showing Very Obvious symptoms and she's like 'oh that. uh. yikes. '"

Mu let out a yelp as she tripped over _something_ in the dark narrow alleyway she’d been running down. She didn’t have long to hate whatever it was before she was being grabbed by the back of her cape and yanked up and slammed face first into a wall.

“Little girl _not_ steal fish,” the Mafia goon said as he stole back Mu’s hard-won dinner. Looks like she was going hungry tonight. “And now Mafia make little girl pay for _trying_ to steal fish.” And she was getting a beating, _wonderful_.

“Sod off you pecking-” She cut off as she was slammed into the wall again, stunning her. The Mafia goon then turned her around to press her back against the wall as he wrapped his hand around her neck.

Looking her dead in the eye, he started squeezing. “You’ve been a nuisance for _too_ long. Mafia should get promotion for killing you.”

Mu clawed at his hand and kicked uselessly at him as blackness started encroaching on her vision. She opened her mouth to call for help but with no air the only sound she could make was a pathetic squeak. She was going to _die_ her because she’d _tripped_. How could this have…

Something small jumped out of nowhere, latching onto the Mafia’s goon’s arm, making him drop Mu in surprise. As she landed on the ground, gasping for breath and grasping at her aching throat, she looked up to see it was Hat Kid. She’d latched onto the goon’s arm and sunk her teeth into his wrist. Her face did a weird twitch before she let go, jumping off to stand in front of Mu.

“What kind of peck-neck tries to murder a kid?” she said, pulling out her umbrella to point at the goon.

The goon scowled at her, clutching his bleeding wrist to his arm. “Mafia will kill you too then,” he said as he took a step forward. He didn’t take another one though as a strange troubled look came over his face. He looked down at his wrist. “What did you do?”

“Oh good, it worked,” Hat Kid said, her tone suddenly cheery. “I wasn’t sure it would. I guess I won’t need this then.” She slipped her umbrella back into his cloak pocket.

Mu jumped to her feet. “What do you think you’re doing? He’s still…”

The goon stumbled and almost fell before leaning against the wall and sliding down it. The look at his face now was one of pain. He even let out a soft whimper as if holding back a much louder sound. “What is it? What did you do?” he asked through clenched teeth. “Make it stop please. Mafia will never hurt mustached girl again if you…”

“No,” Hat Kid interrupted. “I don’t believe that and you deserve it. Besides, I want to see if it kills you.”

The goon let out another whimper as apparently the pain was growing worse. His wrist, still held close to his chest, looked noticeably swollen and red now too.

Mu turned her head to look at Hat Kid, seemingly unbothered. “What’s happening?”

“Venom.” Hat Kid opened her mouth to show off her sharp fangs. “I bit him and injected venom into him. A lot too because it’s been a while since I released any venom. Now I need to know if it kills him or just ends with him losing part of his arm. So I saved you _and_ get to do some science.”

Mu was all for killing the Mafia, especially that particular one right now but Hat Kid being so cheery about it was a bit creepy. Especially as the goon’s whimpers grew louder and more pathetic, he was even crying. Mu wasn’t sure she wanted to watch this so…

“Good, great, awesome, thank you” she said, forcing a smile and giving Hat Kid two thumbs up. “I’m going to go now. I have important things I need to do.” Like securing herself another meal. She could steal the fish back from the Mafia goon now but uh… would rather not get that close to him.

“Okay, see you later,” Hat Kid called cheerily after her as she fast walked away to avoid looking like she was fleeing.


	9. Infected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For prompts: May I request a continuation of "Pollen" (with possible angst or fluff)? :D

“Woohoo!” Mu shouted with a victorious leap in the air as they brought down the final the last plant in the mountains. It had been harder than she’d predicted because who could’ve known plants could defend themselves so much?

“Yes, woohoo,” Hat Kid said, far less enthusiastically. “Now we just got to go around and destroy all the _rest_ of the plants. If it _really_ did spread all over the world, there are a _lot_ of them.” She seemed to sag at the thought.

Mu skipped over to stand by her. “Yes, but we’re going to save the world. We’re going to be heroes and… and… Aren’t you normally excited by stuff like this? You like danger and stuff, right?”

“Yeah but… I suddenly don’t feel well.” She pulled out her phone and suddenly they were up on her ship again. Where, with a small whine, she started pulling her gas mask off. “I can’t breathe with this thing on, it’s…” she trailed off coughing as she finished pulling it off and threw it to the ground.

Worried, Mu backed up. “How long were you exposed to the pollen before I came along and gave you that?” she asked, pointing to gasmask.

“A few minutes, why?” That was _more_ than long enough for the pollen to take root within someone. It took a while to activate too… like about an hour which was perhaps about as long as it had taken them to take out all the plants in the mountains.

“Uh… do you have any rope or something? I need to tie you up and I need to do it _now_.”

“W-what? Why?”

“Because the pollen makes you a mindless aggressive zombie basically.” It would be fine though. The book said that destroying all the plants would make everyone infected by the pollen go back to normal after a little bit. So all Mu had to do was tie Hat Kid up and then finish taking out the rest of the plants on her own. “So where do you keep your rope?”

It was too late though. Hat Kid’s body slumped to the ground. When her eyes opened a second later, they were glowing red and empty. She launched herself at Mu.

Mu danced to the side, pulling out the bat Hat Kid had given her to beat the plant with. “I’m sorry,” she said as she swung it hard at Hat Kid, hitting her squarely in the back of the head. _Thankfully_ , she crumbled, unconscious so Mu didn’t need to hit her again.

“I’m sorry,” Mu said again, eyes blurring with tears because she _hated_ this. She’d had to do the same thing to Cooking Cat, days ago now – hopefully she was still doing relatively okay. “I’ll fix it though, I promise.”

She stepped closer and kneeled down to dig through Hat Kid’s pockets until she found the phone that controlled the ship’s transportation function. Pressing a button on the side turned it on. … Of course all the text on it was in Hat Kid’s home language. That was fine, Mu would just have to experiment with it until she figured it all out.

Before that though… She looked back up at Hat Kid, lying unconscious on the floor. There _better_ be rope somewhere on this ship or Mu might be in trouble again soon. She pocketed the phone and ran off to go look.

There was rope in the machine room. Mu used it to tie Hat Kid to the command chair in the central room, tying her wrists to the chair as well just in case it was needed. Once she was sure the knots were good and tight, she pulled out the phone again.

The app that should control the ship was easy to pick out, it was represented by an icon of the ship. Mu opened it and with nothing else to do just started messing with it. Hopefully it wasn’t possible to get the ship moving with the app.

The first thing she found was the light switch. Then the button that started music playing over the intercoms. Then a button that led to a menu that controlled the TV. Then a button that led to another menu. She pressed the thing on the top and… she was ported back down to Mafia town. In the town square to be precise. Awesome and the perfect place to start!

This whole saving the world thing was off to a not great start but now she’d do it. _Hopefully_ Cooking Cat, Hat Kid, and everyone else would be okay once the plants were gone. Mu would do everything within her power to save them though, no matter what it took.


	10. Real Chef

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Denadoodles: "mu takes cc’s outfit behind her back and try’s it on, she then also ends up trying to cook on her own too! Causing complete anarchy!"

Cooking Cat’s closet was left wide open, making finding where she kept her chef outfit when she wasn’t wearing it for the show as easy as opening her bedroom door. There were even two spares hanging next to it. And the hat and its two spares were on the top shelf of the closet, there was a stepping stool to make reaching it easier.

Mu skipped over and got first a hat and then the outfit. She then skipped back over to her room where she quickly changed into it. It was a bit too big for her, hanging baggy and loose, the sleeves covering her hands, but whatever. When looking at herself in the mirror and posing just right, she looked almost like a real chef and that’s all she cared about. Now it was time to _be_ a real chef too.

She exited her room and ran to the kitchen. Cooking Cat was off running errands, leaving Mu home alone for a whole three hours. She’d offered to take Mu with her but she’d declined for once because she was going to surprise Cooking Cat with supper when she got back. It was going to be _fantastic_.

There was a whole cupboard filled with cookbooks, including all the ones Cooking Cat herself had written. Mu wasn’t going to use any of them though. She’d been an assistant on Cooking Cat’s show enough times now that she should be able to figure it out all on her own. She was going to make maybe not the best meal ever made but it was going to be good. Cooking Cat was going to love it.

***

As soon as Cooking Cat opened the door to her apartment, she smelled smoke and something burning. She quickly placed the grocery bags in her hand on the floor and rushed to investigate. It was coming from the kitchen.

She burst into the room just in time to see Mu spraying the fire extinguisher into the open oven, dousing the fire inside. She was also for some reason wearing one of Cooking Cat’s chef uniforms, it was too big for her and splattered with something. It was an odd thing to walk in on and the general mess of the normally clean kitchen only added to. Stuff was all over the counter and there were two whole pots on the stovetop, one whose contents had clearly overboiled and run down the sides before it had been moved off the burner.

“Hello Mu,” Cooking Cat said as Mu released the trigger on the fire extinguisher.

She jumped, even making a small sound of surprise. “Uh… hi,” she said, turning to face Cooking Cat with a sheepish smile as shifted to hold the fire extinguisher behind her back. “You’re back earlier than you’d said you be.”

“Yep, there was ruckus at the seafood mart so I decided to just come back another day and return home to see how you were doing instead. Turns out I made the right call.”

“Well uh… it’s not what it looks like?”

“Nah, I’m pretty sure it’s exactly what looks like. You were trying to cook and you thought you could do it without looking at a cookbook or using any other kind of guidance, right?”

“Uh… yeah.” Mu hung her head in shame. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make a mess, it just… kind of happened.”

Cooking Cat walked over and patted her on the shoulder. “I ain’t mad hon, I’m actually real proud of you for trying.” It was honestly flattering. Mu was trying to be like her, that was _so_ sweet and heartwarming Cooking Cat had to refrain from purring by remembering they had a _huge_ mess to clean up now.

Mu looked back up at her. “Really?”

“Yep, really. The first time I was left in a kitchen unsupervised I almost burnt the whole place down too because I thought I could do it just fine by myself and made some mistakes with the oven.”

“That _can’t_ be true. You’re an expert cook, you wrote cookbooks and have your own TV show about it so there’s _no_ way you’d almost burn down a kitchen.”

“Nope, it’s true. I wasn’t always good in the kitchen, I had to learn and you will too. Now come on, let’s get to work cleaning this up. When we’re done, I’ll let you take the lead in making supper, I’ll just assist when you need me.” It would be a good lesson for her, just like this was. She’d be a good cook one day if she really put her mind to it, she just needed a little guidance here at the start. Cooking Cat was _more_ than happy to be that for her.


	11. Friends Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: We have Mu being adopted by CC, what about Mu being taken in by Hat Kid?

Hat Kid looked at the Time Piece in her hand and then back down at the planet. She’d gotten it out of the vault, thinking to throw it down to Mu. It was a single Time Piece so it couldn’t do _much_ but it could still be of some use to Mu. But… if Hat Kid gave it up she _might_ not be able to get back home, unlikely but still possible. She also might get in trouble if she did and it was found out which again though probably not likely was still possible. So maybe it was best to just let Mu fend for herself.

With a sigh, Hat Kid stepped away from the window. Mu had robbed her _twice_ so she didn’t deserve help anyway. So Hat Kid put the Time Piece back in the vault and ran over to hop into his command chair, letting it spin her around a couple times before stopping it facing the console. She typed in the coordinates and readied the ship to go. Now all she had to do was pull the lever and she’d be on her way home.

She grabbed it but… didn’t pull. Her eyes drifted back to the planet. She was going to miss it and all the friends she’d made while exploring it. And… she really did want to help Mu. Despite everything she still had a conscious and she couldn’t forget what she’d seen of Mu’s presence on the island. She lived in a cave, wanted by the entire Mafia. And she very clearly didn’t have any family – in that Hat Kid could relate for she too didn’t have a family, though Mu had supposedly _lost_ hers, making it so much worse. There was a _reason_ she’d been so adamant about getting the Time Pieces, she was powerless to defeat the Mafia without them.

So… how could Hat Kid help her? One single Time Piece wouldn’t make enough of a difference to even matter and she certainly couldn’t afford to spare enough to make a real difference. And she couldn’t stick around long enough to help either, she had to get back home. So there wasn’t anything she could do, was there? … Well there was something, it wouldn’t help defeat the Mafia but it would help Mu. She might decline but it didn’t hurt to offer, she owed Mu that much at least.

***

Mu huddled in the alleyway, hugging her knees to chest and trying really hard not to cry. She’d finally done it, she’d gotten rid of the Mafia _and_ all the other bad guys. But no one liked her, they’d all hated her and wanted her gone. And now she was powerless again.

Which was probably for the best, wasn’t it? In her effort to rid the world of all the bad guys, hadn’t she become one herself? Everyone else certainly seemed to think so and with so many people against her they couldn’t all be wrong, could they?

It was _so_ unfair. She couldn’t do _anything_ right. All she wanted was for things to go back to the way they were before the Mafia came, _before_ her life became a living hell. Why did she have to mess it all up when she _finally_ had the power to change stuff? Why couldn’t she have…

“Hey.”

Mu flinched and shot to her feet, hurriedly wiping away her traitorous tears. It was Hat Kid. Great just what Mu needed, Hat Kid rubbing it in because why else would she be here?

“Are you okay?” was what Hat Kid asked instead.

“What do you _think_?” Mu just wanted to be left alone in her misery. She wasn’t going to run away like some stupid coward though because… she just didn’t have the energy to right now.

“Oh uh… yeah, I guess that was a dumb question, huh? I’m sorry.”

“Whatever,” Mu cut in. “What you do want?”

“Uh… you don’t seem to have a family of any sort and after what happened with the Time Pieces and stuff I don’t think you have any friends either. So that must mean…”

“Gee thanks for rubbing it in. Don’t you have a…”

Hat Kit lifted a finger and put in over Mu’s mouth. “Let me finish speaking please and thank you. I’m not rubbing anything in, I’m _trying_ to set up an offer I have for you but you’re being ornery and making it hard so shush.” She stepped back and a bit embarrassed, Mu didn’t say anything, allowing her to continue. “As I was _saying_ you don’t really have any people that are keeping you here and uh… things seem pretty bad for you. So I was thinking maybe just leave it all behind and come with me on my spaceship instead.”

Mu opened her mouth to respond but… how could she possibly respond to that offer. Could she really just leave all this behind and run off into the unknown with someone who was first her friend and then her enemy? … She wanted to, _really_ badly she wanted to. This was her home but it _sucked_. Everyone she’d ever loved was dead and had been for years now. And she stood _zero_ chance at ever getting revenge for them by taking down the Mafia. She’d tried and tried and tried to but always failed so what was the point in continuing with that if she had another option?

Was it _wrong_ that she wanted to give up? It _had_ to be, right? But… did she even really care? Because well if she kept trying the Mafia would eventually get her and kill her or she’d die on the streets due to illness or starvation. Either way, with pretty much everyone on the planet hating her guts now, there was no way she had much longer to live. And however much longer she did manage to keep kicking would probably be worse than before he stunt with the Time Pieces.

“Are you… serious?” she asked. “You’re not joking or pulling a prank or… anything?”

“Nope,” Hat Kid replied. “I’m one hundred percent series. Space is kind of lonely, it’d be nice to have a companion that isn’t a vacuum. So what do you say? What to go on space adventures with me?”

“I uh… yes. Space adventures sound like fun.”

“Yay!” Hat Kid hugged her, taking her by surprise because not that long ago, they’d been battling. But Mu couldn’t help but hug her back, holding her tight because it was just… _so_ nice to be held again.

“Thanks,” she whispered when they stepped back a few seconds later.

Hat Kid smiled brightly at her. “Is there anything you need to go grab or any place you want to see one last time before we leave?”

“Uh… no, not really.” All her worldly possessions were on her person already and all the places she’d loved the sight of had been ruined by the Mafia a long time ago. “I’m good to go whenever you are.”

Hat Kid nodded as she pulled out her phone to beam them up to her ship. Through large window was a lovely view of the planet.

“I’m planning to come back and visit,” Hat Kid said as she sat at her command desk. “So this isn’t goodbye to the planet forever.”

“Whatever, I don’t care,” Mu said even though she did care. She was glad it wasn’t goodbye forever because it was still her home even if it had been a long time since it was hospitable towards her. Maybe when she returned, she’d be more welcome. “Let’s go. I want to see space and other planets and everything there is to see out there.”

“All right, let’s go then.” Hat Kid typed on her console and pulled the lever and suddenly their view of the planet was gone as the ship did whatever it was spaceships did to port through space.

There was no possible way Mu could even guess what kind of place they were headed or what would happen when they got there or anything else. But wherever they ended up and whatever happened next was for sure better than sticking around in Mafia Town any longer.


	12. Graffiti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the Drabble Prompt Thingy: Hat Kid referencing pop culture stuff from her planet (aka our universe) like Pokémon, Mario, stuff like that.

‘PRAISE THE SUN!’ read Hat Kid’s tag on the rear of Mafia HQ in bright red paint. Underneath it she’d spray-painted a silhouette of a man who was either wearing a helmet or just had a strange shaped head, holding his feet together and his arms straight up and at an angle.

“Do people worship the sun on your planet then?” Mu asked turning to look at Hat Kid who was already graffitiing on the next part of the wall. She wouldn’t have thought a space faring civilization would worship their sun but she’d heard of stranger things.

“Nope,” Hat Kid replied, not looking away from the wall. “I just painted that because I love Solaire. And I’m painting _this_ because I love Portal.” She’d spray painted a grey square. She placed the spray can down and grabbed the pink one to put a lopsided heart in the middle of the square. “Hmmm… it doesn’t look great but whatever… Oh wait, I should paint a cake on top because the cake is a _lie_!” She bent down to look through their box of paint cans again, presumably looking for the colours to find ones to spray paint a cake.

When Mu had invited her out here to cover the rear wall of Mafia HQ with as much graffiti as possible she’d had more hostile graffiti in mind. Such as what she normally did and had started on her own half of the wall. But fun phrases and artsy stuff worked too, though it would make when it ultimately got painted over a bit upsetting. But whatever, it was still graffiti. Heck, if anything, cutesy stuff graffitied on Mafia HQ might make them angrier. So that’s what Mu was going to do too: cutesy stuff and fun phrases. It’d be a fun change of pace. And the wall was _begging_ to be covered in art, it was like a large blank canvas. They were too short to cover all of it but they’d do their best to cover as much of it as was physically possible.


	13. Birthday Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request from Reallyfunnynamehere on tumblr: "If you wouldn't mind Prompt: Hat Kid WILL force Mu and Mafia Boss to get along for ONE PECKING DAY ON HER BIRTHDAY... even if the month doesn't technically exist on this planet. And she WILL resort to blackmail and bribery. And maybe forget everyone else she invited while she's threatening them."

“You’re here!” Hat Kid said as she hugged Mu mere seconds after she’d boarded the ship.

“Of course I’m here,” Mu said. “You honestly think I’d miss your birthday party?” She was far too excited for it to miss it. It had been _so_ long since she’d attended a birthday party.

Hat Kid stepped back, smiling wide. “No, I’m just excited. Almost everyone’s here now.” She leaned in to speak quieter. “Even Snatcher came. He’s disguised as one of the Subconites as if that could fool me. … Okay, maybe it almost did but I hugged them all and I could _feel_ that one of them wasn’t a plushie like the rest so it _has_ to be him. I pretended not to notice so don’t let any of them know I know though because then he’ll probably leave.” She rocked back, resuming a normal speaking tone. “Only the Empress and Cooking Cat aren’t here.”

“Yeah uh, Cooking Cat told me to tell you that she’d going to be like an hour late because she’s got like an important thing to deal with. _But_ did you seriously invite the Empress? Don’t you hate her?” Everything Mu knew about the Empress, Hat Kid had told her and all of that info had come with a large dose of complaining and obvious distain.

“Yep, but it’s my birthday so everyone’s invited to have a good time. But she’s been kind of afraid of me ever since that time in the elevator when I almost killed her so I’m not really surprised she didn’t come. So I can accept this. Once Cooking Cat gets here the party will be complete unless the Empress shows up late too, that’d be cool.”

Mu doubted that would happen. She’d heard the tale of the elevator incident and following court trail, there was _no_ way the Empress would come after that. It was for the best though because according to Hat Kid, she was a gang leader, a powerful one too. Not the kind of person Mu wanted to be around.

But speaking of people, there were lots of them here, filling the central room. Along with tons of balloons in a rainbow of colours, some floating around the ceiling, others tied in bunches around the posts on the railings. There was also a table filled with food and drinks. A large multilayered cake decorated with bright pink frosting was the center piece. … Mu wanted some.

“When are you going to cut into the cake?” she asked, pointing to it.

“Uh… we can do that now, I guess. It’s apparently like a thing here, right? Blowing out the candles and making a wish? That’s what Grooves told me anyway, he made the cake by the way. I don’t think we do that were I’m from. I don’t really know though because no one every invited me to their birthday parties back home. But let’s go get some cake, I bet it’s good.” Hat Kid took Mu’s hand and brought her along as she skipped over to the table.

Mu was on her second slice of cake when she remembered to take it slow. She had more food than she could ever possibly eat right there on the table free for her to take as much as she wanted and it wasn’t going to be taken away _and_ she didn’t need to worry about starving in general because she lived with Cooking Cat now who fed her well. So she could take her time and _enjoy_ the cake instead of stuffing her face with it until she felt sick.

So, taking a deep breath, she looked up at it to look around the room again. She’d chosen a spot on the upper walkway to eat, by the later so she could dangle her legs over the edge. She could see pretty much everyone else in the room from up here.

The Subconites were the most tightly knit group, staying all together in the corner opposite the food table. Supposedly one of them was Snatcher himself. Which one, Mu couldn’t even begin to guess, they all looked nearly identical and none of them seemed to act any different than the others. Maybe Hat Kid was mistaken? … Probably not, she claimed Snatcher was her BFF after all so she had to know him pretty well.

The bulk of the guests filling the room was a mix of owls, penguins and seals. They were all mingling and chatting. There were some mountain people too. DJ Grooves stood out amongst them because of his weird shoes and large hair. He was hanging with the Conductor which was a surprising because weren’t they supposed to be enemies? Though Hat Kid claimed they were in love despite everything Mu had heard that contradicted that. But she did know them better than Mu did so maybe she was right. The ship captain was sitting by the table, the half that had the drinks, looking like he wished those drinks were alcoholic. Maybe miserable was just how his face looked though.

But also sitting at the table, unnoticed before due to Mu’s focus on the food on the other side of the table, were four Mafia goons – one of them was the green goggled one who was actually almost kind, letting Mu get away on multiple occasions, even giving her food a few times when no one else was around, therefore making him the closest thing to a good guy in the entire Mafia – and… the Mafia Boss. He even had his body back due to Snatcher shenanigans with the dumb Death Wish contracts – threat of death or no, Mu would’ve refused to participate in those if she’d known the Mafia Boss was too because it was _almost_ like working with him, too late now though. Considering Hat Kid had invited the Empress, this wasn’t surprising. But that didn’t mean Mu was going to tolerate it; the Mafia was her sworn enemy.

She finished the last bite of her cake before putting the plate and fork down for now. She then hopped down, landing next to an owl and seal chatting. Ignoring their surprise at her sudden drop in, she started for the Mafia. What she’d say or do when she reached them, she didn’t know nor did she really care. What mattered was that she made her displeasure known and hopefully they would leave.

She wasn’t being sneaky so it was no surprise when the Mafia Boss’ eyes locked onto her as she stepped up to the table. “ _You_ ,” he said with as much hate in his voice as Mu felt for him.

“Yeah, _me_ ,” she replied. “You’re _lucky_ there are children at this party otherwise I’d be stuffing you back into a jar where you belong.” Honestly the fact that Snatcher had undone that was _so_ unfair.

He growled as he stood up to loom over her. As if that were frightening, especially when there was a still a table between them. “You’re the one who’s lucky here girl. I’d have your _head_ if there weren’t so many witnesses around.”

“Uh… Mafia think that this is probably not good place to fight,” the green goggled Mafia goon cut in. “Is hat child’s birthday…”

“Shut up,” Mu and the Mafia said in near unison, resulting in an angry snarl from both of them. Before either of them could say anything else though…

“Howdy,” Hat Kid stepped in wearing a smile. “I knew you guys would see each other eventually and would try to start a fight. I’m here to tell you that you’re not allowed to because this my birthday party and everyone is going to have a good time, that means you guys need to get along and be nice to each other.”

“Hell no,” Mu said. Hat Kid could do whatever the peck she wanted to but Mu wasn’t going to sit here and ‘get along’ or ‘be nice’ to the Mafia Boss of all people. “He’s a piece of shit, you _know_ that.”

“She stuffed me in a _jar_ ,” the Mafia Boss shouted over her.

Not to be outdone, Mu raised her voice too. “He’s a murderer! He’s responsible for the deaths of everyone on the island _and_ he tried to kill you!”

“You tried to kill her too! _And_ your responsible for the deaths of like half the planet’s population!”

“That’s because I was killing you _fuckers_! _And_ it was pecking _undone_ so it _doesn’t pecking count_! And _how dare you pecking compare me to you_! You _pecking_ …”

“Stop!” Hat Kid shouted, somehow making her voice louder than either of theirs, as she jumped up on the table to stand directly between them. “No more fighting. If you guys say even _one more_ mean thing to each other or about each other I’m kicking you out of the party and never allowing you back on my ship.”

“You wouldn’t do that to me,” Mu said, glaring up at her. “I’m your friend.” Or at least Mu _thought_ they were friends. Maybe they actually weren’t, not if Hat Kid wanted to consider the Mafia Boss a friend too.

“I wouldn’t banish you from the ship forever but I will kick you off for the rest of today _and_ I won’t let you take home any cake or balloons. It’s my birthday so I want people to be nice and get along. I’ve never had a birthday party before please don’t ruin it by being mean and starting fights. You guys can go back to being enemies tomorrow but for just today could you _please_ at least tolerate each other.” She’d started angry but by the end she looked at them both with puppy dog eyes that glistened with unshed tears.

It might’ve been a fake look to make Mu, and by the look on his face the Mafia Boss too, feel guilty. She might just be trying to manipulate them with tears and a sob story about never having had a birthday party before this one. … If so, it was working. That look made Mu feel bad. But… how could she possibly tolerate the _Mafia Boss_?

Silence hung heavy in the room. _Everyone_ was watching now, with all the yelling that had happened of course they were. It was awkward and a bit embarrassing and yet no one did anything. Everyone was waiting for either Mu or the Mafia Boss to back down or resume the fight and get kicked out.

Mu wasn’t going to back down, she was going to wait to see what the Mafia Boss did. If _he_ resumed being hostile, he’d be at fault and would get kicked out. There was no way he wouldn’t, right? He didn’t care about upsetting Hat Kid or being permanently banned from her ship. He’d for sure…

He sat back down. “Fine,” he said. “I shall try to get along with her _if_ she tries to do the same in return.” He gave her a pointed look, putting the entire room’s attention on her as well. He was such a _bastard_. He exactly what she’d wanted him to do. Instead he wanted _her_ to be the bad guy and get kicked out. Well she wasn’t playing that game.

“Fine,” she said, crossing her arms and lifting her chin. “I’ll be nice too.”

“Yay!” Hat Kid said, seemingly genuinely happy. “Thank you!”

Trying to ignore the eyes still on her, Mu turned and went back to the cake. She’d get another piece and then go back to people watching. Or maybe she’d go hang out with the Subconites and try to figure out which one was Snatcher in disguise. Or maybe she’d hang out with some of the seals, they were awfully cute and friendly. No matter what though, if she wanted to resume having a good time here, she was going to avoid the drink side of the table or anywhere else the Mafia ended up going. She was going to try to go back to having a good time though partly out of pure spite.


	14. The Metro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From denadoodles: Request prompt: cooking cat taking mu to nyakuza metro!

Mu’s sleepiness vanished as soon as they stepped foot into the Metro. Up above had been rather calm and quiet but down _here_ it was bustling. Cats were _everywhere_ , chatting and walking around. The smell was indescribable and Mu wasn’t yet sure if it wasn’t too bad was disgusting. And despite being underground it was well lit with neon lights all over the place. And the whole world seemed to rumble and rattle every few seconds, presumably the trains the Metro was famous for that were pulled by giant four-legged cats.

“Welcome to the Metro,” Cooking Cat said with a flourish. “I grew up here, sort of anyway. I lived up top of course but I spent most of my free time as a youngster down here.”

Mu clambered up to perch atop the back of a nearby bench so she could get a better look around. The place was huge but still completely underground somehow, something that felt like it shouldn’t be possible. Mu had never been to a place like this before. It was almost kind of scary but still very exciting.

“Can I go explore?” she asked, looking back at Cooking Cat. “This place seems _awesome_ , I want to see _everything_.” Though that was probably impossible with all the nooks, crannies, and side passages there were undoubtedly everywhere. They’d only be here for a week, nowhere near enough time to become familiar with everything. And they were mostly here for business reasons too. So Mu definitely didn’t have all the time in the world to explore everything like she wanted to but she as determined to see all the coolest stuff at least.

For a second, Cooking Cat looked almost like she wanted to say ‘no’ but ultimately she sighed. “Okay hon, you can run off and explore but _be_ careful, this place can be mighty dangerous sometimes. If you get lost call me and tell me where you are so I can go find you, don’t worry about interrupting my filming, you’re more important. You can also call anyone on the team too.” She gestured back towards her film crew. She’d insisted Mu have all their cell numbers saved as contacts on her phone before even leaving the island.

“Okay, yeah, I’ll be careful. Thank you.” Mu jumped down off the bench. Before she could actually run off though…

“And one last thing before you go,” Cooking Cat said, ignoring Mu’s impatient groan as she reached into her pocket. “Here’s some money for the food carts and maybe a souvenir or two.” She pulled out a little bag and handed it to Mu. “Remember don’t overeat or eat too fast, you’ll make yourself sick, especially with how greasy a lot of the food is here. And I expect you to be back by my side in like five hours, all right?”

The reminder of the famous food carts had Mu’s mouth watering already. How could she have _forgotten_ about them? They were famous and the reason they were here – Cooking Cat was doing a segment on her show about them. “Yes! Thank you! You’re the best Mom!” … Wait, had she really just called Cooking Cat ‘Mom’?

She turned and ran, pocketing the bag of money as she did so and not giving Cooking Cat any time to respond, as if that were her plan all along. She’d consider and deal with the ramifications of accidentally calling Cooking Cat ‘Mom’ later, for now she had a whole underground Metro to explore.


	15. Pride Outfit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i dare you to write a drabble involving the Awful Pride Outfit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For context, someone shared the details of a dream they had in which Hat Kid wore outfit for pride with bunch of pride flag colours on it but they were all really obnoxious shades of those colours, making her an eye sore. Basically, the Obnoxious on steroids and with various pride flag colours which is something we all agreed Hat Kid would totally wear.

Hat Kid had first noticed it in the Metro, people carrying around little multi-coloured striped flags or pins. She’d seen such things a few times before but now suddenly there were a lot more of them. At the same time, the owls and penguins at Dead Bird Studio started carrying around such things too. They weren’t random colours either, lots of the patterns she saw were the same, the most common being a rainbow. They had to mean something, right?

“They’re pride flags,” Mu explained when Hat Kid finally asked during one of their hangout sessions on Hat Kid’s ship, playing video games. She had one too; a bracelet with rainbow colours. “It’s officially pride month so everyone’s wearing them now either to show support or to show their sexuality and stuff.”

“What’s pride month?”

“Hmmm… I guess you’re an alien so you don’t know,” Mu paused the game, turning her head to look at Hat Kid. “Basically, a long time ago people were assholes and oppressed anyone who was lesbian, gay, bi, trans, etcetera; you know, people who were different from what was considered ‘the norm’. So people started pride month as like a protest to that. These days it’s mostly about celebrating that that’s not a thing anymore.”

That was a perfectly valid reason to celebrate but… “Why would anyone ever care about that kind of stuff to begin with?” Hat Kid had never once encountered anyone who cared about that kind of thing on any of the planets she’d visited. She never would’ve thought anyone would care, let alone be mean about it. And apparently there’d been enough of them to _oppress_ an entire group of people, how was _that_ a thing?

Mu shrugged. “I don’t know. Not even the Mafia care about that kind of thing and they’re the worst. So, I don’t understand either, it’s literally the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.”

“Well uh… can you tell me what all the different colour patterns mean then?” Hat Kid wanted in on this whole pride month thing mostly because she liked the colours but also celebrations were fun, especially when the cause being celebrated was a good one.

Mu groaned. “There are like a million of them. But _fine_ , I can teach you the most common ones I guess.”

Hat Kid wasn’t sure what pride flags would represent her. She was still just a kid and it wasn’t something she’d ever thought about before, she’d been focused on much more important things such as learning how to fly a spaceship. So instead, she went for a hodge-podge of as many different pride flags as she could fit on a single outfit. It was more fun that way anyway.

She made it herself, using the sewing machine aboard the ship, using the most vibrant fabric she could possibly find. She of course also had to have hair to match; she made a whole new magic paintbrush to make her hair bright neon rainbow coloured. She made a whole new top hat too, two different flag colours on each half, the strip larger than normal to display a third set of colours. She even painted her shoes which would eventually rub off but whatever. And then to top it all off she put all the pride pins she’d found at one of the stores in the Metro onto the hat and a few on the cape, making it even more colourful.

She hopped in front of the mirror to look at herself. All the deep vibrant and neon colours made the outfit even more obnoxious that the outfit she’d dubbed ‘the Obnoxious’. She _loved_ it. She simply _had_ to show it to all her friends.

She went in search of Mu first and found her in the break room of Cooking Cat’s studio. She stood up as Hat Kid walked in.

“What the _peck_ are you wearing?” she asked before Hat Kid could say ‘hi’.

“My pride outfit, you like it?” Hat Kid did a little twirl. “I made it myself.”

“No kidding since no one in their right mind would make such a thing. It looks like a pecking colour wheel threw up on you. It’s hideous. If you’re planning on wearing that to the pride parade, I’m not going with you anymore because I prefer it when my eyes _aren’t_ bleeding.”

Hat Kid giggled. She’d expected such a reaction. Dressing tacky and obnoxious was fun in part _because_ of such reactions. But also, she was just weird and liked such things, peck anyone who wanted to judge her for it.

The door behind her opened again and in came Cooking Cat. Naturally her eyes locked onto Hat Kid. “Oh my goodness dear, what are you _wearing_?” She sounded a bit concerned.

“It’s my pride outfit. I made it all by myself. You like it?” Hat Kid did another twirl to make sure Cooking Cat saw all the colours on the cape too.

“It’s uh… _lovely_ ,” she forced out with a smile.

Mu scoffed. “Don’t lie, it’s _supposed_ to be hideous. She _wants_ to give everyone who looks at her a headache.”

“It’s not _meant_ to hideous. It’s meant to have as many different pride colours on it as possible because I want to support everybody _and_ because more colours equals more fun.”

“And that is a noble goal,” Cooking Cat said, patting her on the shoulder. “You do you hon, okay? And don’t you be mean to her about it Mu, let her do her thing.”

Mu scoffed again but otherwise didn’t reply.

“I’m going to go show all my other friends now too. So see you guys later.” Hat Kid gave them a smile and a little wave before leaving. She couldn’t wait to see how everyone else would react to it. And she was _totally_ going to wear it to the pride parade three days from now, it’s what she’d made it for after all. Really when Mu had told her about the parade, she should’ve expected Hat Kid to do something like this, it was her own fault she hadn’t.


	16. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ebonyshadowcat: Uhhhh drabble's still going right? Mustache Girl has a nightmare and CC comes in and calms Mu down after she wakes up. I love me some angst with some fluff mixed in... and I guess I want to see more Mu + Nightmare stuff lol.

_Something bad would happen when Mu got home. She kept walking though with a smile on her face even as each step made the world around her darken a little more; the sky fading from blue to gray, the streets becoming messier and littered with trash, the people’s smiles fading as more and more of them vanished. She had no choice but to go home though._

_By the time she reached her house the streets were empty, the sky dark gray, and the streets and houses looking like they hadn’t been cleaned in years and smelling distinctly of rotting fish. Except for her house, it was intact, not a scratch on it despite the bad thing waiting inside. She hopped up the porch stairs and opened the door._

_The living room too was clean. … Was that how it was supposed to be though? Was the furniture even right? Hmmm… didn’t matter. She ran up the stairs and down the hall to her parents’ bedroom where_ it _was waiting. The door was wide open._

_“You not accept Mafia’s new rule and even try to fight back, you die, is simple,” the Mafia goon said before stabbing Mom in the abdomen._

_She screamed and fell over, the knife, still held by the Mafia goon sliding out. He bent down to stab her again._

_Mu closed her eyes and covered her mouth, struggling to keep her sobs as quiet as possible. Mom had told her to hide and be quiet no matter what. And… she was too scared to move or make a noise even if she’d wanted to. She just cried and huddled in the corner of the closet instead, praying the sounds on the other side of the door would go away soon._

~

Mu woke all at once from the hand on her shoulder. She flinched and scrambled away until her back hit a wall. Cornered, she growled prepared to pounce at whoever had snuck up on her in her sleep. She’d claw their eyes out and…

It was Cooking Cat. “I’m sorry hon, I didn’t mean to startle you,” she said, her expression concerned. “You’re awake now though so that’s good.”

Mu relaxed, suddenly shaking. She was safe in her room in Cooking Cat’s apartment. It had been another nightmare, nothing new there but still bad. But at least this time she’d been woken up before the Mafia had opened the closet door and got her or she’d stepped out into a group of Mafia and gotten caught after a chase where she ran through what felt like molasses or heck sometimes her brain even supplied her with the dumb notion of just opening her eyes and suddenly being surrounded by a group of Mafia goons. Her brain never seemed to remember anything correctly about her mother’s death other than hiding in the closet listening to it. She’d rather it didn’t remember it at all though because then she wouldn’t need to dream about it.

“You okay now?” Cooking Cat asked. Despite having lived with her for almost a full month now, this was the first time she’d caught Mu having a nightmare. Probably because Mu had learned to keep those quiet while living on the streets. “Do you want to talk about it or…”

“No,” Mu interrupted. “I don’t want to talk about it. Thank you for waking me up, you can go now.”

Cooking Cat frowned. “Are you sure? Is there anything I can get you? Like hot chocolate or maybe some nice tea? Uh… I can stay up with you if you feel like you don’t want to go back to sleep yet, keep you company if you want.”

Mu fidgeted. The kindness Cooking Cat was extending to her never ceased to surprise her. … “Uh… hot chocolate sounds good.” Hot chocolate always sounded good, even more so now that it could also distract her from her nightmare.

“All right, let’s go to the kitchen and make some then.” Cooking Cat smiled and headed for the door, pausing to look back at Mu as she opened it.

Mu slid over and off the bed. She then followed Cooking Cat to the kitchen and watched her start to prepare two cups of hot coco. The clock on the stove said it was just after 2am.

“Why are you awake?” Mu eventually asked to break the silence.

Cooking Cat shrugged. “I have trouble sleeping sometimes. It’s better now than it used to be when I was younger but I still get nights where I wake up at stupid o’clock in the morning and can’t get back to sleep. Now uh… here you go.” She turned around and put one of the now steaming mugs into Mu’s hands. It smelled _wonderful_ and the heat was nice.

“Thanks,” she murmured before taking a sip, careful not to burn her tongue. Cooking Cat made the _best_ hot chocolate.

“You’re welcome dearie. What would you like to do now? I uh… don’t really have much experience with dealing with nightmares so… I’m not sure what to do to help.”

“I don’t want to go back to bed anytime soon.” Possibly for the rest of the night.

“Of course. How does watching TV sound? I was going to do that anyway. I don’t know if anything you’d like would be on at this time but we can check. If not, I got movies we could watch instead.”

That would help Mu get her mind of the nightmare and was certainly beat the lying around and feeling miserable that normally came after such dreams so… “Sure. And uh… thanks… for everything.”

“I’m glad I could help.”


	17. Trophy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the Sentient Rumbi thing, picture this: someone finds Rumbi, takes him (maybe to return a currently lost rumbi, maybe to steal and sell this alien tech) and they start walking while carrying this strange rumbi model. Suddenly, they hear a strange voice, almost like a bunch of rumbi voiceclips cut together, asking “where are you taking me?” (Not a prompt ...unless?)

It wasn’t until Mu got back onto the space ship that she remembered, Hat Kid and Bow hadn’t found many of the Time Pieces yet. So coming onto the ship to steal them would only net her like three which wasn’t enough for what she needed them for. She was already here though so she should steal them anyway, right? … Though that might ruin her chances of being able to steal from the vault again after Hat Kid and Bow got more Time Pieces. So maybe she should…

The little round vacuum Bow had introduced as Rumbi – as if it were a person, _ridiculous_ – rolled up to her. The face on its front seemed to almost be looking at her, especially with the way it stopped for a few seconds before moving on. … It was cute and Mu was here so… she walked over and picked it up before it could get far.

What exactly she would do with it, she wasn’t sure yet, but she was taking it. It would probably sell for a good price, making it possible for her to buy and eat real food for a few days or even weeks if she was lucky enough. Or she could keep it as a trophy and use it to clean her house after she got rid of the Mafia and thus had one again. Either way though, it was hers now.

She exited the ship, going back to the island. If any of the Mafia saw her with it, they’d take it from her, so she started straight for her cave. She’d hide it in her secret spot until she decided what she wanted to do with it, or if she decided to keep it, she’d store it there until she could take it out and use it for its intended purpose. After so long living in the streets, having a clean house probably wouldn’t be something she _really_ cared about but it was the thought that counted. So she would…

“Where are you taking me?”

Mu halted mid-step. She looked down at Rumbi in her hands. Had it really just…

“And where is Hat Kid and Bow? I’m supposed to be cleaning the ship.”

Mu glanced around and ducked into an empty ally. She turned and lifted Rumbi to look at its digital face; it looked worried. “Why would a vacuum be able to speak?” It _had_ to be just stock phrases, right?

“I do not know. Bow upgraded me to so I can speak and understand English. I did not think it would come in handy but apparently it has. Could you please return me to the ship, I have a job to do.”

“Bow’s weird.” Both her and Hat Kid were _super_ weird for programing a vacuum to stay stuff like that. “But I’m not returning you, you’re mine now.”

“But… but… I thought you were their friend?” It _actually_ sounded shocked, what the hell?

“That’s changed.” Because they were both selfish, hording the Time Pieces so Mu couldn’t use them to save the island from the Mafia. “We’re enemies now and you’re my first token of victory against them.”

Ignoring the sad almost scared sound it made, Mu put it back under her arm and resumed walking. She was keeping it for sure. If Hat Kid and Bow had put _that_ much effort into programming an AI into it, she _had_ to keep it out of spite. She was going to make good use of it one day.


	18. Pick-Pocket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ebonyshadowcat: Time for another drabble before this idea consumes me entirely lol. Been thinking about it since last night but what about a scene where Mu defends Cooking Cat from some type of danger? Like the two are walking and someone/thing tries to attack/steal from Cooking Cat when she least expects it but Mu comes in and stops that from happening because she happened to be there with Cooking Cat. Idk this idea is incredibly random so i thought i'd share lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna start putting these up on Ao3 again despite taking a break from writing any more drabbles because I want to and because I can. Also, because of everything's that's going on with so many people trapped inside all the time, I might as well give people here more reading options if they're so inclined.

The Metro was bustling and busy, cats of all shapes and sizes wondered about everywhere – the few visitors from other places stood out like sore thumbs. On one had it was _exciting_ but on the other hand, more people meant more potential danger. So part of Mu was constantly on the lookout of potential threats as she ran around and explored.

She overheard murmurs of stuff that sounded and awful lot like gang activity. It wasn’t any of her business though so she mostly ignored it. The food carts were much more interesting anyway. She wanted to try everything but couldn’t, she’d make herself sick. She did eventually choose a place though and it was _delicious_. Not as good as Cooking Cat’s food but a close second. She found another cart that sold dessert that was also _fantastic_. It took all her self-control not to go back for more because she was _determined_ to not eat herself sick ever again because food _wasn’t_ scare in her life anymore so she was going to stop acting like that wasn’t true.

Not long after that though, it was time to start heading back towards Cooking Cat and the crew. She’d hopefully have more time to explore and try new and different food carts tomorrow. The crew was just finishing putting up the film equipment when Mu found them.

“Hey hon,” Cooking Cat said as Mu ran up to give her a quick hug. “You have fun exploring?”

“Yes!” Mu nodded before going on about stuff she learned and saw, excited to share. And even though Cooking Cat no doubt knew this place far better than Mu, she listened and seemed genuinely intrigued by everything she said. It was _really_ nice.

She was so caught up in chatting as they made their way back towards the exit that would bring them up near their hotel above ground that she almost missed the pickpocket stalking them. She _would’ve_ missed them for sure if she wasn’t herself an accomplished pickpocket, meaning she knew exactly how they moved. Their target was Cooking Cat of course, she was famous _and_ didn’t have much of an entourage despite the excited murmuring that followed them everywhere here in the Metro – this being the place she was most famous. Just the camera crew and Mu wouldn’t seem like much of a threat if they got caught but in that they were wrong.

Mu waited until the pickpocket was just starting to make their move before jumping into action. She jumped around to karate chop their wrist, knocking their hand away. She followed it up with a hard kick to the shin and then groin, not giving them any time to respond. They hissed and gave her a hate filled glare before turning and running away; when caught a pickpocket almost never fought, they ran instead. Mu would’ve done the exact same thing, minus the hissing.

“Uh… hon, what was that?” Cooking Cat asked, concerned for obvious reasons.

Mu turned back to face her and the similarly stunned film crew with a triumphant grin. “A pickpocket. They’re _obvious_ if you know what to look for and thus easy to stop.” She probably could’ve handled it by letting Cooking Cat know and deal with it but this was cooler and more fun.

“Hmm… well, I guess you would know how to spot a pickpocket a mile away, huh? I’ve been away from the Metro for a long time, I kind of forgot that was a thing you got worry about sometimes. Thanks.” Cooking Cat smiled and gave Mu a small pat on the head. “I will try to keep a better eye out myself in the future though.”

As they resumed walking, Mu may have had a bit more of a spring to her step. She’d done a good thing. Yeah, nothing she did would _ever_ make up for everything Cooking Cat had done for her, but it was better than nothing. She’d be Cooking Cat’s guard for thieves and pickpockets for as long as they were here and anywhere else it would be relevant. It was the least she could do.


	19. Caves Suck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Since English is Hat Kid's second language she has an accent and makes some grammar mistakes sometimes that can get in the way of comprehension, leading to some funny misunderstandings.

“You sleep in a cave?” Hat Kid asked with a frown as she looked the cave wall up and down.

“Yeah,” Mu replied with a sigh. In hindsight she probably shouldn’t have brought Hat Kid here, it was a bit embarrassing but she’d wanted to see Mu’s ‘house’ so here they were. “It _sucks_.”

Hat Kid’s frown deepened as she turned her head to look at Mu. “Uh… I don’t think caves suck. This is an alien planet though, maybe they do?”

“What the hell are you saying? Of course it bloody sucks, it’s a damn cave, not even a _big_ one.” Because a big one would’ve been taken from her.

Hat Kid shrugged, turning back to inspect the cave wall. “I’d like to see it suck then. What kind of things does it suck up? And how? Also, how is it a dam? Is there an underground lake on the other side of it? Is that where all the things it sucks up go to?”

Now it was Mu’s turned to be confused because what the hell was Hat Kid talking about? “Are you high?” She was just a child but she had her own spaceship so maybe she had access to drugs too.

“No? I’m on the ground. Why would you even ask that?”

Mu opened her mouth to demand why Hat Kid was taking everything she said literally but stopped herself. Hat Kid was an alien from another planet, English wasn’t her first language. She’d learned it fast with the help of her alien technology but that meant she would only know the literal definition of words, not their colloquial and slang meanings. So she’d had no idea what Mu had meant. Well as her new and first friend on this planet, it was Mu’s job to correct that. She’d teach Hat Kid all the slang, swear words, and colloquialisms she knew and help her speak like a native no time – except for the accent of course but everyone liked foreign accents so it was fine.


	20. Venom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just... more venomous!hatkid content. Pls.

“So uh you really killed that guy with venom or was that some kind of trick?” Mu asked after exchanging greetings upon seeing Hat Kid again. She’d run from that encounter but it had stuck with her enough for her to seek Hat Kid out here on her ship to talk about it.

“Yup,” Hat Kid replied with a proud smile that showed off her fangs. Mu had noticed them before but hadn’t thought much of them, now though, knowing what they were for, they were a bit unsettling. “I’m venomous and it’s _awesome_.”

“Is Bow venomous too?”

“Of course, we’re the same species. She doesn’t like to use it though unless it’s life or death. Which actually I get, it’s pretty exhausting to use and makes us super hungry because our bodies have to make more or whatever. So I don’t use it often either. _But_ I collected lots of data about how beings on your planet react to my venom while the Mafia goon was dying. It would probably affect other species, like the birds and cats, a bit different but probably not too much.”

Mu shifted, leaning back in the captain’s chair she’d commandeered while waiting for Hat Kid to return to the ship. “Do you think if you like coated it onto a blade or something, it’d still work? Or does it become ineffective if left out too long for whatever reason?” She didn’t know much about how venom worked, the fact that it was alien venom only made it more mysterious.

“Uh… I don’t know. I’ve never tried it.”

“Well you should try it because if it works, we can rid the Mafia from the island!” Mu hadn’t enjoyed what little she’s seen of the one Mafia goon’s death – it certainly was _not_ a pleasant way to go – but if it could get rid of all the Mafia on the island it’d be more than worth it. They all deserved to suffer anyway.

Hat Kid gave her a skeptical look. “I guess we could try it. It would take a lot of venom though and I’m still just a kid, I don’t produce much. And it seems a bit mean, don’t you think? Like that one goon was trying to hurt you so he deserved it and some of the other goons certainly deserve it too but not all of them, right?”

“No, _all_ of them deserve it. They killed more than half the population of the island and are oppressing the rest, so they all deserve it. And don’t worry about not being able to make much, we can ask Bow for her venom too and we only need enough to coat some throwing daggers… or a sword. A venom coated sword would be awesome.” Except for the fact that Mu didn’t know how to use one but that was besides the point, she could learn… somehow. “We can capture some goons and do tests and experiments on them to figure out what the bare minimum lethal dose is. It’ll be fun and you’ll get to do more data collection stuff or whatever.”

Hat Kid looked thoughtful for several long seconds before shrugging. “Sure, I guess if they deserve it, it should be fine to do and I’ll get to learn more stuff about my venom. So, let’s do it!”


End file.
